Swinging Helped Us Have A Healthy Polyamorous Relationship

Swinging Helped Us Have A Healthy Polyamorous Relationship – This story is about a couple who have a healthy, happy, polyamorous relationship – all thanks to swinging! After swinging for a period of time, they were introduced to polyamory and share their experiences and tips with others couples interested in following the same path.

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How Swinging Helped Us Have A Healthy Polyamorous Relationship


Swinging Helped Us Have A Healthy Polyamorous Relationship

“We’ve been swingers for about 10 years now, and in the last 2 years, we’ve made our way into the poly lifestyle. We have noticed that there is quite a lot of overlap from the swinging to the poly world, as in; a lot of swingers are interested in the poly life, but not many polyamorous individuals are into the swinging life.

If you are one of those people, this post is for you. You love swinging, and you want to bring in another girl in a more permanent capacity. Here’s the bad news, you are loathed in the poly community. They absolutely hate Unicorn Hunters. If you try to cross over as a couple looking for a woman, be ready for a lot of negativity and hate. If you’re looking for a man, you will be much more welcomed. Since that isn’t what most people are looking for, the focus of this write-up will be about female Unicorns.


First things first, we all understand why they are called Unicorns. They are far and few between just for hookups and even more rare for LTR (long-term relationships). We did not find our 3rd and 4th through online dating or searching. They both quite literally fell into our laps, one through a business networking event, turned friend, turned more. The 4th girl was a mutual friend who wanted to explore her sexuality with us long-term. We have met some groups with luck with online dating, but the most successful have been friends that turned into more.

Secondly, be ready for jealousy, envy, miscommunication, and emotional situations you’ve never been in before. A regular 2-person relationship is already tough enough, and any pre-existing emotional trauma will be exacerbated when adding another person. We made it work for us through therapy; we found a swinger/poly specialized therapist that we see as a group, and we each see our own personal therapists. We’ve all grown very much from this, and it was integral to the success of our relationship. The key thing is either not having expectations or setting all expectations beforehand and being a very effective communicator.

Cherish Every Moment

Thirdly, understand that nothing is forever. She may be with you for a month, a year, or a decade. I would cherish every moment you have as throuple/triad because you never truly know what’s going on in another person’s head and why they may be in this relationship with you (love, lust, financial, exploration, housing, mommy/daddy issues, etc.). They may have their exit plan as soon as they’re in the relationship, and they have no obligation to you two in any capacity. Also, love/lust may not be shared equally between the two of you; they may want one of you more than the other, which can drive a knife into your relationship.

If you’re only looking for a single female in a closed triad, you might as well quit looking. It is best to let your poly GF date and live their best poly life in the poly world. In our opinion, the best success you can have is by not going for a throuple/triad at all and just opening up the relationship to having multiple partners who may not be dating both of you. This is a true poly relationship and is much more welcomed in the community.

How did we do it?

We met a beautiful woman who fell in love with both of us (Jack first and then Nikki once we all started hanging out). We both hooked up with her individually and then together, and that’s when the conversation was had. Furthermore, we talked about what this was and how we were going to treat it, and we landed on a closed triad at first, which evolved into an open one. She moved in with us after she literally never left our house. We all agreed to therapy and ensured we all do our best to be happy and do what we can to make each other happy.

We landed the fourth girl we met as a mutual friend, and she became a good friend of ours. She learned about our lifestyle. Although we never asked or pursued her, we piqued her interest in our life, and she asked to join in. She lived with us for about a month before moving into her own place and will continue to be our GF for the foreseeable future.

We believe that once you’ve entrenched yourself in the poly world and are actively working on improving your mental growth, your friends and the people you put yourself around will be more interested in potentially being a part of your relationship.

The last 1.5yrs have been amazing for us. Having a triple income household has been amazing, and our growth as individuals has been phenomenal.”


This story was sourced from the r/Swingers thread on Reddit.


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