11 May Swinger Terms You Need to Know
Below is a list of swinger terms you need to know before dipping your toes into the swinger lifestyle.
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Lifestyle
The term Lifestyle describes the swinger community. It involves any engagement with other swinger couples. The term implies that swinging defines someone’s entire lifestyle. However, this is usually not the case. “The lifestyle has improved our marriage ten-fold!”
Vanilla
Vanilla is the term used to describe anyone outside the swinger lifestyle. “We have a vanilla party to attend to this weekend.”
Newbie
A nickname used to describe those new to the swinger lifestyle. The term is not to give offense but to let others know the level of involvement within the swingers community.
Hotwife
A Hotwife is a woman who indulges in sexual relationships outside of her marriage/relationship with her husband’s knowledge and consent. She can do this with solo adventures or with her husband.
Vixen
Many people use the term vixen as just another word for a hotwife. Vixens tend to enjoy the hotwife lifestyle together with their husband. They are a confident & sexy couple who enjoy having a lady show off in front of other men.
Stag
A Stag was born out of the necessity to differentiate hotwife husbands who enjoy sharing their partner but are not submissive or into humiliation like a cuckold. For the Stag, he enjoys the voyeuristic aspect of watching his sexy wife perform and impress others. Knowing that other men find his wife desirable is a common motivation for many Stags.
Unicorn
A single lady in the swinging lifestyle that tends to play with couples. They are similar to hotwives, but there are some distinct differences. A unicorn is different from a hotwife because they tend to be single compared to being married. A unicorn often plays with other couples & a hotwife usually only plays with single men.
Bull
Usually, a bull refers to any man who is having sex with a hotwife who isn’t her husband/partner. He is generally an alpha dominant male and knows that he is there to deliver great sex to the hotwife and then leave and that that is his only purpose. Whereas she has an emotional connection with her husband, a hotwife’s relationship with her bull is purely sexual.
Buck
Similar to a bull, it is the other man but specifically for Stag/Vexen arrangments. A Buck understands the Stag is being generous by sharing the amazing experience with him. Bucks are very respectful and grateful towards Stags for being able to share in the physical connection and understand not to infringe on the emotional connection.
Cougar
Refers to any confident, mature woman and is not limited to a hotwife. Many hotwives are desired by younger men who enjoy being with a lady that knows what she wants from his young & virile body.
Swapping
Swapping refers to the exchange of partners between two couples. “Although web occasionally plays with singles, we are really into wife-swapping.”
Sometimes swinger couples label themselves “soft-swap” or “hard-swap.”
Soft Swap
Couples who identify as soft swap don’t have actual intercourse with anyone other than their partner. It can involve having sex in the same room with another couple or swapping partners, and engaging in foreplay with each other.
Hard Swap
Hard swap couples are those open to sexual intercourse with others. It is not uncommon for swinger couples to start as a soft swap and eventually graduate to a hard swap.
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