4 Mistakes Swingers Make When Starting

Here are 4 big mistakes swingers make when starting off in the swingers lifestyle. Guidelines should be followed to ensure safe and consensual fun between swinger couples. Read the mistakes swingers make starting off in the swinging lifestyle and make sure you don’t make them!

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1. Not Discussing Your Limits/Boundaries

Failing to discuss limits/boundaries before attending swingers clubs or parties is one of the mistakes swingers make when starting off in the Lifestyle. It can be challenging to have a quality conversation with your partner around where their comfortability lies. Things to discuss are what activities can I try? What things can I do without having you present? Do I need to check in with you first or just tell you about it afterward?

As far as boundaries go, certain plays might be entirely off-limits. For example, some swingers will say kissing is only something that happens between you and your primary partner. Another is, talking about the kind of protection used during play with other swinger couples. Plan in advance; this way, when you’re in the heat of the moment, you can still make good consensual decisions.

2. Getting Drunk

Put the alcohol down, Especially if you’re new to swinging. Drinking alcohol has a way of altering the experience. When you’ve had too much to drink, it can be pretty tempting to go against the limits and boundaries you’ve already agreed to with your partner. Pass on the drinks until afterward. Certainly don’t start off your swinger night with 3 shots back to a back – bad idea.


3.Not Checking in 

If you agree to check in with your partner throughout the night – do it. Whatever time it is or whatever is going on, if this is an agreement made by the two of you, you need to stick to it! Don’t abandon each other. Touch base every now and then to make sure you’re both having fun and comfortable with the other romantic-fluid swingers.

4.Not Sticking to the Plan – Consent is Key!

Taking part in an activity, your partner didn’t agree to. Doing something that your partner has explicitly asked you to not do or failing to follow whatever limitations were put in place is a great way to swing yourself right into the failure zone. Get consent first from your significant other first, is vital!

Swinging is supposed to be fun between consenting adults. If you go to a swingers club with the intention to not bring other swingers home with you, then don’t bring them home. You need to go into swinging with a plan and stick to it when you’re first getting started. With more experience, limits and boundaries can be discussed more and changed. When starting out, think about what kind of experiences you want to have and which ones you don’t want, and respect your partner with their decisions.


According to Alice Little, these are mistakes swingers make when starting out and some advice on how to not make them! 


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