31 May Love is the Key to Swinging Success
Love is the key to swinging success. It’s about being so in love that you can disclose all of your fantasies and desires to your partner. Some couples have the most beautiful swinging experiences because they have learned a clear distinction between sex and love.
For new couples curious about swinging, it’s important to understand and discuss why you want to do it and what you both want to get out of your swinging experiences.
Love is the Key to Swinging Success
For some, there is a clear distinction between sex and love. Some see sex as an activity like tennis. You can play with many others, you can even join clubs, but that doesn’t mean you want to live with those other tennis players. It’s just tennis.
I think we put far too much emphasis on faithfulness. Being faithful does not guarantee happiness. Many couples are faithful and miserable. And many are promiscuous but very happy with each other.
The question is, are you faithful because you’re obeying society’s rules, or is it because you are both happy about it? The key is honesty and love. By love, I mean, are you two close friends that can speak your mind openly without judgment or fear? Do you still see sex as adult play? If you do, you know that play needs the players to express and be playful. For example, can your partner say to you: tonight, can I put a pillow on your face, which has George Clooney’s face on it when we have sex? I think it would be so much fun”.
Sex is adult play, not a duty. Play is not fun unless you allow your mind to be free. This doesn’t mean you have to have sex with others unless you both want to. It just means that you can’t have a sexual watchdog editing your sex dialogue and action where the aim is to be correct, so you don’t get in the bad books.
So it’s not about swinging or not. It’s about being in love enough to disclose all your desires and playful fantasies and then agreeing on a way forward that is fun for both. Compromise is ok as long as both continually ask if the fun and freedom of expression is still there. And the answer for both is a genuine yes.