losing yourself in relationships

Losing Yourself in Relationships

Losing yourself in relationships happens far easier than many of us originally thought. We like to think that when we meet somebody, they will bring out our best parts and encourage us towards fulfilling our dreams. Sadly, what often happens, is we adopt our partners personalities and hobbies in an attempt to make the connection to each other stronger.

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losing yourself in relationships

Signs You Are Losing Yourself in Relationships

In hindsight, of course, it’s ridiculous and incredibly sad that we lose ourselves in relationships. Unfortunately, it’s not until after the relationship has run its course and we are at different points in our lives and reflecting on our past that we realize what happened. It happens to the best of us, right? 

According to Marriage.com, there are some clear signs to watch out for if you feel as though you are losing yourself in relationships. These signs are:

  • You often act, think, and communicate in ways that you feel your partner will approve of and desire instead of being your true, authentic self.
  • You consistently ignore your own needs and desires within the relationship.
  • You sense the relationship is “bringing you down”.
  • You frequently look to your partner to bring you happiness instead of looking within to be content.
  • You lose interest in your own hobbies, goals, and dreams and give more attention to your partner’s hobbies and goals instead.
  • You’re uncomfortable being alone and prefer spending time with your partner, even if it means consistently engaging in activities that don’t resonate with you.


How To Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships

Thankfully, there are things you can do to revert losing yourself entirely to a relationship and adopting your partners personality. The first way to stop this vicious cycle in its track is to set aside time each week to do something for yourself. This will give both of you some space and, much as you love each other, it’ll be good to have some time apart. The more you get into the habit of doing things without your partner, the more satisfied you’ll be with your relationship, and the less likely you are to lose yourself to your partner. Having your own hobbies and really sticking to your plans on your own will give your relationship a boost and help you find yourself again!


You need to set some boundaries! If you don’t think you need to, do it now. The moment you realize you need boundaries, it’s almost too late, and it’s only a matter of time before things get worse. Have a few nights a month dedicated to yourself – stay at your home if you don’t live together or ask them to make plans for dinner with friends so you at least have the place to yourself for a few hours. It’s so important to remind yourself that you exist as your own being! Alone time gives us space to process everything that’s going on in our lives. If you’re with your partner all the time, you can’t get annoyed at them and subsequently process those feelings as there’s no time or opportunity to do it.


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