17 May Compersion and Swinging
Compersion and Swinging
Swinger couples need to feel compression towards their partners for swinging to enhance the relationship. So what is compersion? Compersion is essentially the opposite of jealousy. It is the feeling of joy you get from another pleasure, even though it doesn’t directly affect you. This is so important to have in swinger relationships as it alleviates feelings of jealousy when seeing your partner with another and instead turns it to joy and happiness that your partner is being fulfilled.
Swinger couples get a lot of things out of non-monogamy. They can enjoy meeting new people, going to exciting events, have hot dates while they travel, or visit swinger clubs in distant cities. But seeing each other’s enjoyment and fulfillment is undoubtedly the most rewarding part of the journey through swinging. It’s a cosmic feel-good.
It does get a little fuzzy when you try to parse the difference between compersion and sexual turn-on. Part of compersion is the “turn-on,” and let’s be honest, nothing beats good, hot sex! But seeing your partner turned on and “at the moment” and being totally “pleasured out.”
Leads to your feeling of compersion.
Compersion is not only a feeling reserved for your partner, but it also can be felt for a play partner or couple. Sure, there is lots of fun playing with someone who is not your regular partner, let’s face it, sex rocks, but for us, it is not just about your pleasure but also sharing your satisfaction with others.
Compersion must be authentic to work genuinely for swinger couples. Feigning it with forced cheerfulness in the face of pain will only go so far and be worse for both of you in the long run. Setting boundaries and talking about discomfort early on often tends to be a far better strategy than “fake it till you make it,” which more often leads to explosion and disaster.