17 May Communication and Swinging
Communication and Swinging
You have all read the word communication at least once in these articles. That’s because it is the key to successful relationships – swinging, open, monogamous, etc. It is essential in swinger relationships to have good communication with your partner. That means you need to be vulnerable and honest about your fears and desires when it comes to swinging.
For communication to really work, you need to be vulnerable to your partner. Sometimes it’s hard to communicate because we have to let ourselves be vulnerable to our partners and when we’re in fear, we tend to want to protect ourselves. It’s not until we learn that vulnerability leads to more communication with our partner, that we will have issues.
When you have a fear and come to your partner vulnerable, they will always more likely react to your fear in a loving and gentle nature. Whereas, if you approach your partner angry and hot-headed, they will more likely feel attacked and the conversation will easily be led to an argument.
Along with being vulnerable to your partner, you also need to be honest. You need to be able to go to your partner and honestly speak about how you are feeling about a certain situation. There’s no point in addressing a fear regarding swinging when you don’t say what’s really bothering you about it. Your partner is not a mind-reader, and so you have to communicate honestly with them so that you both know where you stand when it comes to involving other swinger couples.
It is important for all swinger couples to discuss setting boundaries, rules, safewords, etc. before getting involved in the Lifestyle. You need to communicate what you will allow and won’t allow your partner to do with another swinger. Some boundaries can be that you always go home with one another after attending a swingers club, you only kid your primary partner and nobody else, etc.
It’s really important that couples do this as it sets the stage for the whole swinging experience. When rules and boundaries are not established, it is a lot easier for people’s feelings to get hurt and for jealousy and anger to pop their ugly heads up.