Can swingers actually Cheat?

Can Swingers Actually Cheat?

Can swingers actually cheat? If you are allowing your partner to sleep with someone else doesn’t that mean you are eliminating the idea of cheating altogether from your relationship? Well, actually… no. Couples who swing, especially when first starting out, have rules and boundaries which are discussed to prevent “cheating” from happening. 

People often view cheating differently than others. Some people may think sleeping with another is cheating, whereas others may think sexting someone who is not your partner is cheating. Because we all view these things differently, a conversation to put rules and boundaries in place NEEDS to happen when a couple decides to swing.

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Can Swingers Actually Cheat?



Can Swingers Actually Cheat?

Just because you and your partner are in a swinging relationship doesn’t mean you or they can’t cheat. Breaking any of the rules and boundaries you have discussed with your partner is a form of cheating when it comes to swinging. In order to prevent this from happening, clear communication and openness need to be the foundation of your relationship.

So, once your boundaries have been discussed and established, you will have a better idea of what you can do and what you can’t. For instance, let’s say one of your boundaries as a couple is that you only swing together. That means if your partner meets up with another swinger couple while you’re out of town – they’re cheating.


Sexting Playmates

This is something that should be talked about when putting boundaries in place. If you as a couple have been playing with another couple, you need to establish rules for contact. Are you allowed to sext one party of the other couple? Are you allowed to flirt and send saucy pictures?

Let’s say your husband doesn’t want you flirting or sexting with the male from the other couple unless he is present and you can enjoy it together. You receive a sexy picture from your playmate asking for one back. Your husband is at work and you’re home alone. If you decide to send an explicit image back and start sexting – you are cheating.


A common rule for swinger couples to implement is the no kissing rule. A lot of people find kissing very intimate and it’s why swinger couples will agree to only kiss their primary partner. This means no kissing others when you’re playing. If it is a boundary you have agreed on you should respect it because if you don’t, yes that’s right – cheating! 


How to not cheat…

So if you find yourself in this situation but you want to be respectful to your partner and not break the rules, what should you do? The first thing to do would be to contact your primary partner and inform them of whats happened. You can then discuss this with them before responding (or not) to your playmate’s advances.


Over time swinger couples often change their rules once they have more experience in the swinging lifestyle. Something your partner might have disliked as the start could turn into something they don’t mind after a few months in the Lifestyle. A lot of couples abandon many of the rules as their relationship develops deeper trust and communication.


The most important thing to remember when swinging is open communication with your partner. if you’re unsure whether a situation is okay or not – just ask!


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