Boundaries Beginner Swingers Use

Boundaries Beginner Swingers Use

It is crucial to have rules and boundaries in place when first starting to swing. There are common boundaries beginner swingers use when first engaging in the swinging community that may be helpful for you and your partner to discuss. It can be daunting when you’re first starting out and knowing what rules to put in place can be confusing. 

Don’t fret too much though as we will be discussing the importance of boundaries and common examples of rules used by swinger couples. The most important thing to remember when establishing boundaries with your partner is to openly and honestly talk about what you would like to do, and what you’re uncomfortable doing.

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Boundaries Beginner Swingers Use


Boundaries Beginner Swingers Use

Common boundaries swingers use when first starting off in the Lifetsyle are:

1. Only kissing your primary partner.

2. You always leave a club/event together.

3. Intercourse is fine but oral sex is not/ Oral sex is fine but intercourse is not.

4. No communication with others unless your partner is present

5. You only swing together – your partner has to be present for any sexual activity.

6. No “dates”, only hookups.


This is a list of general common boundaries beginner swingers use. You might decide to adopt all of them or only some of them. Your swinging experience is unique to you and your partner and so the rules you establish should reflect that.



The first thing to do is sit down with your partner and discuss the sexual fantasies you want to explore. How will these play out when another couple or individual is involved? What would enhance the sexual experience for you, and what would kill the moment in a second? This is how you establish the rules you will follow.

When talking about what you want to experience, it’s also important to clarify what you don’t want to experience. For example, if you are interested in having an FMF threesome but think seeing your partner penetrate another woman would kill the mood for you, that could be a boundary you put in place – your partner can only penetrate you in the situation but can play with the other female.



Making a list each about what you want to try and what you’re hesitant to try is a good way to see what your partner expects when you start swinging. This way you can come to compromises on certain situations.

For example, let’s say your partner is uncomfortable with you having anal sex with another man, but it’s something you think you would enjoy. A good solution to this would be to discuss maybe only having anal sex together and then maybe allowing another woman wearing a strap-on to anally penetrate you.


In Conclusion

Having boundaries is critical when in a swinger relationship. It’s important to establish them, but even more important to review and update them as your swinger experience grows.


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