23 May Biggest Blunders Beginner Swingers Make
The biggest blunders beginner swingers make when starting out in the swinging community are discussed in today’s blog post. Like with everything, you learn from your mistakes, and swinging is no different!
Swinging can be a fulfilling experience for all involved. However, there is plenty of potentials for things to veer off-course. Especially, if you are relatively young and less experienced in the realm of swinging.
Biggest Blunders Beginner Swingers Make
As you navigate through your swinging experiences, you should be aware of some of the common pitfalls and blunders that many other young swingers have stumbled into. This does not mean that you will always successfully avoid them (we are all human, after all). Still, the more knowledge you have, the better you can identify them and remedy the situation to navigate it for you & your relationship better. Here are the top blunders to avoid as a young swinger.
Not communicating with each other
If you cannot tell your partner what you feel, this can turn minor issues into serious problems. Communication with your partner has to go beyond just agreeing to partake in the swinging lifestyle. Keeping your feelings bottled up will likely curtail what is supposed to be a wonderfully fulfilling experience. To avoid creating more significant problems in the relationship:
– Find time to talk about your feelings, even if you have to set a date for these conversations.
– Allow yourself to speak or listen without rushing to accuse or defend.
– Consider booking a therapy session if you can’t find it in yourselves to talk about the problematic things without help. Suppose your relationship isn’t strong enough to discuss issues freely. In that case, it might not be ready for swinging, even if you both feel excited.
Going too Fast
The decision to start swinging is just one of the many decisions you will have to make as you both navigate your way. Swingers starting out in the Lifetsyle tend to believe that they are ready to tackle whatever comes their way once they start their journey. However, as confident as you may think you are, you may fail to account for the different emotions that crop up once reality hits. Jealousy, unwillingness to share your partner, and anxieties are just some of the feelings that can quickly overwhelm one or both of you.
The safest way to approach swinging is by starting slow and only going as fast as the comfort level of the slowest person. Tackle one part of the journey at a time before going all in. Attend a swingers’ party or club and stay on the sidelines, taking in the scene unfolding in front of you. Or, if you feel more comfortable with a one-on-one meeting, start with foreplay.
Not Setting Boundaries
Swinging is designed to be a pleasurable experience for all involved. It requires careful thought and consideration of your partner’s needs, as well as yours. Swinging boundaries are less about limiting the experience and more about ensuring everyone will be happy and comfortable afterward.
Communicating boundaries with your partner helps both of you understand each other’s needs, goals, and limits. As you become more comfortable with going just a little bit further, the boundaries can be shifted. This is especially important with younger swingers who might be less experienced with their partner’s feelings and concerns.
Taking Rejection Personally
We all have different preferences when it comes to being attracted to someone, so not everyone is a good match. For example, some swingers might be too young or too old for your taste. That isn’t a bad thing. It is better to discover it’s a bad match sooner than later so you can save time and focus your energy on swinging couples that will be a good match for you.
While rejection can sting, you have to learn not to take it personally. Getting angry or acting out after facing rejection is a sure way to drive them away from you and discourage others from choosing you.