22 May Being Assertive When Swinging
Being assertive when swinging is so important to protect yourself against negative experiences or things you simply don’t want to do. Many people hesitate to say no or to ask to stop because they feel as though they are letting their partner or their playmate down. However, if you’re not enjoying the experience, chances are they’re not either!
For swinging to be the loving and steamy scene it should be, everyone needs to be comfortable and that means being assertive while swinging.
Being Assertive When Swinging
Many people imagine swinger parties to be places where everyone walks around naked – or at least very scantily clad – and confidently displaying their goods for all the world to see. Sure, it’s a nice fantasy, but it’s far from reality. The lifestyle community is just like any other community – full of all different people. Some are incredibly confident, and many are a little insecure.
All sorts of people enjoy swinging, and you don’t need to be the most confident person in the world to fit in. Perhaps you were attracted to the lifestyle because you wanted to open up and live out some of your fantasies. We’re here to help explain how you can empower yourself to enjoy the most from your swinging experiences.
You need to be able to speak up and express what you like and don’t like. To make swinging work as a couple, you have to be able to open up to each other. Trust plays a huge role in whether or not swinging will be successful for you. Get comfortable talking about sex with each other before you even attempt any group scenario is crucial. If you feel very uncomfortable, you can start by speaking up on little things. The more you speak up, the more comfortable you will become.
Discuss your kinks and fetishes, your sexuality, turn-ons, turn-offs, and what your boundaries are. You need to know all your partner’s rules and vice versa, so you don’t accidentally overstep and make them uncomfortable. No one in the world is entirely vanilla. Everyone has a kink of some sort.
Setbacks Can Happen
Sometimes we all go along with things we don’t necessarily love because it does it for our other half. You may find yourself in a position where your partner crosses the line and engages in activities that test your boundaries even though you discussed it before. It’s much better to nip it in the bud before it happens. If you are too uncomfortable to voice your discomfort in front of a crowd, then pull your partner aside or use one of your pre-made signals or codes.
Defend Your Preferences
If you do something your partner likes one week, make sure you get your turn the next. Ideally, you can also find activities that you both love but compromise and give and take will always play a part in your relationship to some degree.