01 Jun Advice from Long-Term Swingers
This article is advice from long-term swingers to new couples curious about dabbling in the swinger lifestyle. It discusses the common issues that all couples face and how swinging has helped overcome these issues.
Advice from Long-Term Swingers
“We are swingers. It has helped sustain our marriage, we were swingers before we got married, and we have had several close friends (not swingers) get married around a similar time frame. Most of them were negative to neutral about swinging. Some of them posted about how deep their love is on Facebook every 10 minutes, and over half of them are divorced now. Pretty much all of them hit a brick wall around the 7-year mark.
We rarely argue and have never come remotely close to splitting up. You notice that sex is the first thing that always goes when a relationship is in decline. After seven years, you’ve done everything imaginable to try and “spice things up.” In our external experience, monogamous couples tend to hit this rut. The sex evaporates, and nothing is exciting to bring them back to it. This then penetrates other areas of the relationship. The husband stops bringing his A-game to family matters since he’s no longer bothered about trying to get laid. He goes to the bathroom for a wank to relieve his frustration. The wife is still pissed off about something trivial and won’t get intimate until the karma of the house has settled, which it never will. Add demanding toddlers to the mix, and you have a pretty good picture of why the divorce rate is what it is. Needless to say, swingers get around this common problem.
To other couples:
1. Swinging is not for everyone.
2. Swinging is not going to fix problems in your relationship. Please don’t start a monogamous relationship, and then try swinging when it’s not working out. If you want to be a swinger, then be upfront with partners during dating so they can make an informed choice. Reread point #1. If there are already cracks in your relationship, then swinging will turn them into chasms.
3. There are pros and cons to swinging. The pro is that you essentially avoid the number one problem in monogamous relationships. Most monogamous people refuse to admit the harmful effects of their once-a-month sex life. Still, their evidence is overwhelming if you talk to divorced people about their marriages in the last couple of years. But it’s not without its downsides. There’s a lot of discrimination against swingers. More than half of monogamous people will cheat or divorce within seven years of marriage, so swinging gets under their skin in the sense that you always hate most what you see in yourself.